Girl Drama: Are your daughter’s feelings hurt or are your feelings hurt?

Girl Drama.   Oh, how the Drama word has been overused since LC started using it back in the day of Laguna Beach on MTV.  Now it is used by moms dramatically talking about the drama between their little girls and their friends.  I am guilty of partaking in the drama that I speak of- sometimes I get a little too wrapped up in what’s happening with the third grade female set.  I worry about who is being left out, as I don’t want my daughter leaving anyone out.  I worry about my daughter’s feelings being hurt.  I fret about  the girls who are sashaying around the playground like Heathers.

Sometimes when my tight lipped little girl confesses that something upsetting happened in the cafeteria between her friends, it hurts me too.  I remember what it was like to be bossed around by a Queen Bee or teased for a silly shirt I wore (I still remember the babyish Love shirt from my second grade class picture, the fashion faux pas still haunts me).   So I try to help her think of strategies:  hang around friends that make you feel good, tell the Queen Bee Follower Girl that it hurts your feelings when she gangs up on you with Queen Bee.  A few times I realized I was rehashing the drama over and over (how did it go today at lunch?) when it was all over for my daughter.

My friend from Philly called me this morning very worked up that at daycare drop off, a 4 year old girl walked up to her 3.5 year old daughter and asked her why she was wearing the same outfit again.  (Uh- because she’s three).  My friend was outraged- girls were already starting to be mean.  In daycare!

It was easy for me to have some perspective:  was her daughter upset?  (no)  Could it just have been an honest question? (maybe)

Girls can be mean.  There can be drama.  But there are great girl friendships that remind me of my own happy days, too.

My daughter’s entire grade is filled with smart, spunky and sweet girls.  I am proud that she has such good friends.  They play foursquare at the playground, they draw funny pictures, they swing on the swings and climb trees and play dress up with their mothers’ heels and jewelry and bake cupcakes.  Nice, normal girl stuff.  It’s not all Mean Girls and Bullying, and it is not all Drama.

Sometimes, as moms, we have to take a step back and remember that tomorrow is another school day.  Maybe we’ll wear the same outfit, maybe we’ll put on something new.

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