When “You Can Do it All” as a Mom Isn’t a Compliment

Yesterday when I hurried to pick up my son at nursery school I commented to his teacher: “Now off to lead a Brownie meeting!” She said something that I wanted to hear: “Wow! You do it all!” She knows I have my own PR business, handle pick up and drop offs at nursery school at least a few times a week, volunteer at my older daughter’s school and have a 6 month old baby.

Today as I was unloading the dishwasher in between work projects I thought about how much the “doing it all” has given me a migraine going on 3 days now. The “pleasure” I got from the “you do it all” comment is like the secret pride a woman with an eating disorder or addicted to exercise habit has when someone says, “you are too skinny”. But that same secret pride also makes you a little ashamed of yourself, too.

It’s true that I like to have a lot of balls in the air- my many projects and friends and obligations feed off each other and help my creative process and energy level. For example, I am writing this blog post to get the my writing mojo on for another deadline that is perhaps more pressing than a blog no one really knows about.

“Doing it all” is okay sometimes, and sometimes you need to know when to say when. It may be time to give something up. Today I decided it had to be picking up from school on Thursdays in the month of May when my workload is heavy. My daughter and the neighbor boys will have to take the bus home instead or my neighbor will have to take on an extra day in the carpool. (I am so reckless and crazy!)

Now I just need to get rid of this migraine before my daughter’s First Communion on Saturday.

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