This week our whole family seemed to be running in and out, to school, to the babysitter’s, to work, preschool “curriculum” meeting, a Target excursion, client meetings and to top it off, a colonoscopy for me. Thursday started with no coffee, (lemon/lime Gatorade instead) , lunch was a cupful of Knorr chicken bouillon and water. The “broth” left a fluorescent yellow streak on my hand, which didn’t make me feel too confident about what was going in my body.
By the end of the day, I was grumpy and starving. Grape Jello didn’t soothe me. Then I had to drink the disgusting Magnesium Citrate drinks and was up all night, with only NeNe, Sheree, Kim and Kandi to hang out with. God, I love those Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Friday was spent at the colonoscopy appointment and recovering from the colonoscopy. Since I wasn’t supposed to “make any important decisions” or “care for small children or the elderly” or “operate machinery, like a Cuisinart” I was free to hang out by myself. Unfortunately, this involved sleeping off the Fentanyl and throwing up for about an hour after I woke up.
I was not feeling very June Cleaver-ish or the least bit like Jackie Kennedy. More like Roseanne.
Today I woke up to a house that looked suspiciously like a “Hoarders” episode of Oprah. My brother-in-law came by to get the kids and used the bathroom and I was mortified. Do you ever cringe when people want to use your bathroom? I feel like I ALWAYS do, unless I am having a party and had the foresight to clean the can and put out a towel. Somehow, I feel like my friends don’t have this problem.
So even though I still wasn’t feeling great today, I had to put my house back together so I’d feel better. This involved copious amounts of Clorox, picking everyone’s clothes off the floor, opening up J.’s lunchbox from yesterday to a note from his teacher (“we didn’t give him this sandwich b/c it wasn’t labeled as soy butter”) and finally washing his pee-soaked sheets from Wednesday. (Yeah, today is Saturday, but at least Ward/Mike/Heathcliff changed his bed after it happened.
There’s still a lot to be done, especially in the area of paperwork. But our lives and our house are pretty much back together. And apparently my colon looked “beautiful.”