Tonight while the kids played in the basement, I continued my project of sorting through letters, pictures and drawings my grandmother saved. She passed away two years ago this Halloween, and it has taken this long to take stock and realize that some things should be treasured, like her letters to me, and her fishing license (she fished until her late 80s). The postcards she collected from her senior citizens bus trips around Upstate New York can go, as can some of my more insignificant letters to her from me that she saved (like the card that read: “nothing much going on around here except that I bought a new toaster oven and it set my bagel on fire”).
I sorted for about 20 minutes until I realized I needed to get J. to bed if I was going to stick to my guns based on the teachings of The No Cry Sleep Solution. There was some crying, but he did get down to sleep after about 25 minutes of reading and complaining. Then I read the last few chapters of On the Shores of Silver Lake to E.
I thought about how I never have time to sort through memorabilia, put my photos in albums, download the new software to sync my BlackBerry or even watch the TV shows I love.
Back when I was single, my photo albums were organized, long days were spent mooning over past love letters and journal entries and feeling nostalgic. These activities were often accompanied by a Lifetime movie marathon or back to back episodes of MTV the Real World (during the Puck era).
I sort of long for that time but I also remember how lonely the nights and weekends could be. Sometimes I would dread the weekends! How much I would wish I had someone to snuggle up with on a Sunday night, or to stay in with on a Friday night when I didn’t feel like going out.
Now, when I have the rare few hours of having the kids and husband out of the house, I relish my time to watch Real Housewives on Bravo, but am usually folding laundry, cleaning or catching up on something else.
I’ll just have to make peace with the idea that these projects will continue to be works in progress.
And my biggest projects, tending to a soon to be first grader and a 3 year old are worth all of the time in the world.